Sometimes we want to blame each other for our feelings and it’s understandable, we hurt each other for sure, but the only thing that we can do in life is take responsibility for our own behavior. We hope our partners will do the same, but let it start with you. The first thing you need to do is to examine every incident. You have a fight, for instance, examine your part in it. I know it’s easy to examine the other person and how they hurt you – that’s usually the first thing we think about. I don’t want you to think about whether the chicken or the egg or who was first. What did you do that was disrespectful? What did you say that was meant to be hurtful? Was it reactive? If it was reactive, it probably wasn’t very kind. StarPoint Counseling Center Tampa Fl. & Brandon Fl does marriage counseling & couples counseling.